I had suspected that this was one of my husband’s love languages and this past week confirmed it for me. Figures the most difficult love language for me to consistently give is at the top of his list. But I’m grateful for the challenge this week gave me in finding ways to intentional speak John’s language of physical touch. Hopefully I’ll grow in this area in the weeks to come.
Day #1: Sit on his lap.
I did this during a family gathering and though I’ve sat on John’s lap before in this way, my 4 year old nephew made a comment with a sheepish look that I was unsure how to respond to, “You sitt’n on Unca John.” He’s a cutie. Since John and I are married I could feel no shame for sitting on his lap, but if you’re reading this and you are not married, please DO NOT sit on your significant other’s lap.
Day #2: Cuddle while watching a movie together.
Both John and I prefer watching movies at home rather than at the movie theater, probably for the very reason that we’re able to sit closer together and cuddle. So that’s just what we did one night this past week (chips and dip, included!).
Do you initiate cuddling while you watch t.v. or movies with your spouse? Why not try it in the coming week and see how he responds?
Day #3: Initiate Sex.
I think it boosts your husband’s self-esteem when you initiate sex once in a while. It lets him know you want him and enjoy making love to him. Planning is the best way to go about doing this. After all, a woman’s biggest sex organ is her mind, so if you can anticipate intimacy with your husband all day long it will help you to get in the mood when the time comes. I like to lay out some lingerie (or sometimes I let him choose) on the bed. Maybe you want to wear your lingerie underneath your clothes all day long to help get you in the mood. Make a comment to him in the morning or send him a text to get him thinking about later, as well. Set the mood with lighting, music, or anything else that will make your experience more romantic and fun.
Day #4: Gently caress or pat him as many times as possible throughout the day.
When you’ve been married nearly 5 years you don’t touch each other nearly as often as you did in the early days of your relationship. I chose this challenge because I wanted to see if maybe it would cause John to unconsciously touch me more often, too. The second time I rubbed his back lightly he gave me a smile. I guess it made me realize that I too enjoy his random, gentle touches and though it seems so trivial, it can mean a lot to the recipient.
Do you consciously touch your husband with tenderness? Would it be meaningful for him?
Day #5: Go to bed early so you can cuddle and talk.
Some of our best conversations take place at times like these. We didn’t plan on going to bed early for the purpose of cuddling and talking, but it just ended up working out that way. We literally hadn’t seen each other until after 9pm on this particular day and since there wasn’t time to do any of our other normal night activities, we decided to just go to bed so we could talk.
Do you cuddle with your husband before drifting off to sleep? Is this something your husband might enjoy?
Day #6: Give him a long hug.
I often hug my husband while we’re brushing our teeth. Because neither of us has anything to do but stand there and brush, it ends up being a full minute of hugging and I’m left with a sense of complete contentment. This time it took place after we had both had had long days away from home and were exhausted. Usually he pulls away sooner than I’d like, but this time we embraced longer than usual. It was a “I-like-you-and-I’m-glad-you’re-home” kind of hug. It was nice.
When was the last time you embraced your husband like you meant it? Try it this week.
Day #7: Kiss him as many times as you can (without being a nuisance).
My husband often complains that the only time I initiate a kiss is right before bed. I admit I’m not as good about it as he is, but that is why I chose this as my final physical touch challenge. I lost count, but we kissed at least 12 times through out the day. Admittedly, he probably initiated most of them (as usual), but I definitely made more of an effort this time.
Do you only kiss your husband when saying goodbye or hello to your spouse? Do you initiate kisses or are you forgetful in this area? Be intentional about kissing your spouse more often in the coming week.
Need more ideas? Here are a few:
-Spend time just kissing. Make a goal: 100 kisses before you go to bed.
-Dance in your living room.
-Reach out and hold his hand.
-Play “footsies” under the table during dinner.
-When he is showering, surprise him by jumping in with him.
-Give him a massage.
-Play a game like Twister where your bodies may end up touching each other.
-While sitting in church, stretch your arm out around him.
-Scratch his back lightly as you talk to others in a group.
In what ways do you express the love language of physical touch to your spouse?